October 2003

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Title: Deathstalker Author: Simon R. Green Copyright Date: 1995 Publisher: Roc

OVERALL

Characters Plot Imagery Style

Review

Let’s start with the characters. Every single one is introduced, then following that, there is a page or two of their physical description and history. Every single one has the same format. This is terrible writing as everyone knows you’re supposed to show, not tell. Therefore, I cannot remember the descriptions of any of the characters. Also, another very annoying habit of the writer was to name the characters by first and last name each time he talked about them. This was really kind of insulting as I think I can remember the last name of the characters at least within the same paragraph. Did the author have a required word count? Cause that’s the only reason I can think he did this repeatedly.

The plot itself followed no logical pattern. Ok, so Owen Deathstalker is declared an outlaw (for what reason I never gathered). This issue is set up right at the beginning and he’s supposed to be the main character. But we don’t get back to Owen for another 76 pages. In the meantime, we spend time at the Empress’ court, the arena, and learning the intrigues of some of the court members - some of which have no bearing whatsoever on the story. All the characters are treated as main characters, some having chapters upon chapters spent on them. Another annoying writing tactic (that the author was not successful at) was writing the feelings/thoughts of the characters from each point of view. It didn’t work well at all.

The author manages to throw every type of creature in the mix, some to be mentioned only once and others, again, bearing no meaning on the story. He had elves, vampires, werewolves, aliens, genetically altered humans, cyborgs, and espers (psionically gifted humans). The elves are mentioned at the beginning of the story then never again. They break into the court and throw a pie at the Empress! Could they have killed their ultimate enemy?? Yes. But no, they chose to throw a pie in her face. And not only does he throw in all types of creatures, but there are concepts (already taken by the way) that the author writes in - the Matrix, a Star Wars theme (hello--Cutting off his hand at the end?? And the whole father/son thing??? And Wormboy - can you say Jabba?), and even a Terminator theme.

The author changes tenses in the book (p. 98-100), repeats himself, contradicts himself within the story, and just plain writes some stupid passages. Examples:

P. 105	"Georgios bucked and heaved in his captors’ hands, but couldn’t break free. He couldn’t even get his hands to the gaping second mouth in his throat... He died so suddenly it was hard to tell the exact moment when the life went out of him." Huh?? Wasn’t he just struggling?
P. 112	The author mentions Stephanie and Daniel Wolfe. A few paragraphs later, he calls her Suzanne.
P. 123	"It was twenty-seven feet long from jaws to tail, a huge erect biped with a hell of a lot of lizard in it." Show - not tell. And this just sounds stupid.
P. 133	"Owen sank back in his chair with a sigh, and Hazel blinked respectfully." How the hell does someone blink respectfully???
P. 168	"Owen wrinkled his nose at the smell and thought he could detect several kinds of smoke in the air that were banned throughout the Empire on the grounds that they were dangerous to whoever happened to be around when someone else was smoking them." Then how would Owen know what they smelled like?
P. 380	The Last Standing is the ship. The castle is the ship. Did I miss something here or are castles not built for real space flight?
P. 396	When Evangeline tells her father she’ll wear "that special outfit" he likes and she’ll be his obedient daughter. She just ‘thought’ on the previous page that Finlay can’t know anything about her relationship with her father. But she has this discussion with her father on the viewscreen right in front of Finlay. Did Finlay suddenly go deaf?
P. 431	"It was black as the deepest pit of hell, and not a light anywhere." Um, duh. Do you think it was dark?
P. 440	When Ruby offers Random a drink, he tells he can’t drink cause his system can’t handle it anymore. But he was drinking from a flask (later discovered to be battle drugs) when they found him. Wouldn’t Ruby have questioned this?
P. 485	Silence describes the alien Sleeper they found and what happened when they found it -- which was already done several chapters ago. Is the author forgetting the story?
P. 492	"He found the atmosphere oppressive, and the narrow paths between the shimmering walls began to seem uncomfortably claustrophobic, pressing in on him like the sides of a coffin." Please pick one description only - I think we got it.

And how many times do we have to be told the disrupters take two minutes to recharge? And that Owen is the Deathstalker? And that Finlay is a Campbell? I felt like this was being pounded into my head.

After all this, I did make it to the end and was highly disappointed. The outcomes of most of the characters were described in a less than two page epilogue. In one vague sentence, the author proclaims, “In the Matrix, things came and went, and only some of them were observed.” What the heck is this supposed to mean? The Matrix, of course, being a concept he only mentioned maybe twice in the book and it was never fully explained. I think the author bit off more than he could chew. I know there are sequels, but he introduced too many characters and concepts in the first book. I do not recommend this unless you’re interested in examples of bad writing and editing.